Back In My Day...

I've found myself saying this more and more lately, (in fact, i'm starting to get on my own nerves – i'm only 22!) the way technology is advancing and the amount of different ways people can communicate with each other is getting crazy!

I suppose, if I think it's bad for me, I can't fathom how different everything is for my parents since they were younger.  back in their day:

There were no emails, just letters, so if you  happened to do something wrong and wanted to tell a friend about it, then that would be the only convicting evidence you'd have. There were no camera phones, or digital cameras so if there were ever any inappropriate photos taken, they would most likely only stay with the intended recipient – it would have taken more of an effort to try and get copies to pass around!

I recently watched a programme on BBCthree called “Websex: what's the harm?”, it's no longer available on the iPlayer, but i'm sure there will be clips on YouTube or somewhere on the internet as most things are these days (see, there I go again!). The programme followed Nathalie Emmanuel (@missnemmanuel) as she investigated the youth culture's attitude towards online sex and also a trend among young people called “sexting”.

Nathalie spoke to one young girl who said that she had been picked on in school because of her looks, and although she was a naturally pretty girl, it still knocked her confidence significantly. The only place she found solace was online where she could meet new friends and boys would tell her that she was beautiful. Talking online with someone can sometimes create a false feeling of security with another person and over time this can develop into the passing on of phone numbers and this is generally where sexting occurs.

Sexting is worrying trend that more and more young people are taking part in. It involves sending illicit messages or photos/videos of yourself to share with another person. Sadly, more and more young girls are sending these sort of images to new boyfriends only to split up a few weeks later and then the image is passed on (if it hadn't already been) to others or even posted online. Once online the images can be very difficult to remove.

Uploading images and videos to websites aren't just exclusive to mobile phones either, Nathalie also visited a lady who makes a living out of “performing” on webcams and she explained that on quite a few occasions, she has found her performances on pornographic websites without any knowledge she was being recorded. There are certain software programmes available to download, which records the screen without the person you're video chatting to knowing they are being filmed.

A lot of children will end up stumbling on websites such as ChatRoulette with their friends as a bit of fun or even just chatting with their new online friends via webcams. The danger of this can be explained with this video:

The young girls in this video wouldn't have known that they were being filmed, and thought they were genuinely talking to their idol, Justin Bieber – however this was just a loop of film.

This could be potentially done with anyone though. What if the purpose of the loop of film wasn't just for a laugh? What if it was being used to trick young kids into doing other things on webcam by pretending to be someone else? As seen in the video above, the whole thing can be recorded and posted online for everyone to see. Sometimes there are dedicated websites to these sorts of videos, although they're normally disguised as something else.

Last year CEOP took down a paedophile ring who were doing just that:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12762333

I know I seem to be repeating myself a lot on these blogs at the moment, but the only way to tackle problems like these with your kids is to be a lot more active within their online lives as well as their offline lives. 

• Keep internet use confined to a family room if possible, or turn internet routers off during times when they are supposed to be in bed to limit their activity. 
• Check what websites or programmes your child are visiting or using so you can monitor their use and check their friend lists if possible. Some programmes such as Skype will also keep a log of messages sent and received as well as any video calls sent/received. Check these regularly to see who your child is chatting to and the content (bear in mind they may use acronyms so visit my other post to see a list of common acronyms used).
• Chat to your kids and explain the dangers of whatever they do online can be seen by more than the intended recipient and can be very difficult, if not impossible to remove.

For more information on ways to speak to kids of different age groups about this subject or for other hints and tips to keep your kids safe online – visit CEOP's ThinkUKnow website.

Thanks for reading!

@Lizmundo

Gossiping - Good or Bad?

Hi all!

As it was the most depressing Monday of the week this week (according to scientific study), sometimes there can be nothing better than a little gossiping – particularly about celebrities. Let's be honest, everyone has done it at some point, even about people they know whether it was meant to be malicious or not.

Providing you're not at the receiving end of said gossip, it can help to relieve stress and feelings of sadness. Gossiping can get out of hand pretty quickly though, especially when it is malicious, and even more so when the people gossiping are kids.

Lately, there has been several news stories regarding one website, with one school in Dorking, Surrey petitioning to have it shut down following complaints from parents after their children had been bullied online by having rumours spread about them.

The site is called Little Gossip, and for those who haven't heard of it, it's a website where anyone (providing they are over 18) can post comments about anyone else in their school, college, uni or workplace. Users don't even need to enter any details about themselves to sign up & post “new gossip”. Everything on the website is anonymous. Although you have to be over 18 to use the site, it doesn't stop kids from misusing it, since all they have to do to gain access is to tick a box and click a button. There are no other questions asked!

Little Gossip's creators claim that the website is designed to “create some deep, clean, insightful and interesting conversation – as well as out and out gossip”. However it’s obviously not being used in this way. The site is only moderated by it’s members so only reacts when someone makes a complaint about certain comments.

I wanted to see what sort of things are being posted on there, so I did a quick search and came across a posting from a college (although there are still school’s listed on there. This is what I found:

Lovely!

There is an option to report these, however it's likely that similar posts will reappear regardless.

Like most websites, users get around the restrictions such as swear word blockers by spacing out characters and using numbers instead of letters etc, which makes it even more difficult for the website to be monitored. As members are not supposed to be under 18 using this site, they shouldn’t be able to add their school as a list of places, but unfortunately, kids are also adding their school names by shortening them or changing the spelling.

My advice to any parent concerned about this site is to try and search for the school’s name on there, and then report it to the site so they can take it down. The people behind Little Gossip say that they are against cyber bullying, but I think if this were the case, then they would take a lot more time to patrol the site themselves to remove slanderous comments.

I reported the above comment to LittleGossip by clicking on the “Report” button next to the post. I was then given a short form to fill in:

Although to actually report this comment, I had to star (*) out the bad words, and also tick all the boxes at the bottom even though it did include that content. Realising that, after a few attempts, I was presented with this message:

I don’t think I made the site much more positive, but it’s a start. This is another reason why I like working for GBK, I am one of the people that constantly monitor the site for these types of comments – they are removed instantly and members are warned about their actions, and as we’re real people, we don’t just have to rely on the swear word blockers to pick up on them!

To see news articles on this Click Here &  Here

Thanks for reading!

@Lizmundo

Why Do People Bully?

 As the title suggests, in this post I will be looking into the reasons why people bully. At some point in everyone's life, they have probably bullied someone, whether they meant to or not. An example of this is my best friend, who is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet, told me that when we were younger, (i'd say about 6/7ish) she used to “bully” another girl in our class, by saying she wouldn't play with her unless she could have her bottle of Sunny Delight (her mother wouldn't buy any for her at home). At the time, she didn't realise this was bullying as she just wanted the bottle of Sunny Delight, and feels terrible about it now.

One of my other childhood friends was guilty of bullying too. He would exclude people from his group of “friends” based upon who he liked that week. If you weren’t his chosen flavour, or if you asked you would NEVER be allowed to have a crisp or a sweet from him. He had to offer you one. I have no idea why we all kept falling for this every week, but looking back it's quite laughable to think what you'll put up with as a youngster.

Bullying can stem from many different reasons, in the examples above it can create a feeling of superiority or just the fact that you can gain “gifts”. It can also be to fit in with peers, jealousy, to prevent embarrassment if they're not particularly good at something or it can be a result of a poor family background.

There is a young boy that lives in my neighbourhood, I'll call him Joe, but I don't know his real name. He's quite “weedy”, has buck teeth and is usually described as “that little git”. I've seen him on quite a few occasions standing behind a bigger boy, using him as a human shield to hurl insults at other kids. I've also seen him stood in my next door neighbours garden, ripping up their elephant grass and leaving it strewn all over the pavement outside my house, just before jumping off a grit bin and diving into an old man's hedge that he had proudly finished pruning earlier that day. However i've also witnessed him wandering the streets alone in all weathers too, with a pot noodle or a cone of chips.

I'm not condoning his actions, but I do think that his home life has a huge part to play in how he acts, so can he ultimately be to blame if he doesn't have anyone there to teach him right from wrong? The sad thing is that behaviour like this is likely to carry on into his teens and possibly into his adulthood, where he'll learn that it will be acceptable to act like this to get what he wants and won't accept authority figures.

It is the responsibility of parents to spot signals of your child bullying someone. Some of these signs include:

• Have a positive views towards violence and may love to watch fight scenes etc.
• Often become aggressive towards adults – including teachers or parents
• May tend to try and dominate situations and others in a group.
• Boy bullies tend to be physically stronger than their peers
• Can be hot tempered, impulsive, and can get easily frustrated
• Often test limits or break rules
• Good at talking their way out of difficult situations
• Show little sympathy toward others who are bullied, may say things like “they deserved it”

How To Intervine If Your Child Is A Bully

I have taken the next piece of information from a website called mychildsafety.net. It explains how parents can intervene if their child is a bully:

If you suspect your child may be bullying you have an absolute responsibility to step in and put an end to the behaviour.

If you are approached by your child’s school or another child’s family about a situation in which your child is bullying another child, be careful to not be too defensive, but at the same time, do not jump to any conclusions until you have an opportunity to discuss the situation with your child – remember there are always two sides to every story.

If after an open and honest conversation with your child, in which you must make clear the severity of the situation, you do not feel your child is truly the aggressor in the situation, work with a school counsellor or social worker to come to an appropriate conclusion to the situation.

If however, it does appear that your child has engaged in bullying behaviour it may be very difficult to accept, but you must face the situation head on.

It is in the best interest of your child and the victim to put an end to the bullying right away. Here are some guiding principles to help you with the situation:

• Do not make excuses for your child.
• Make it clear to your child that you take the bullying seriously and you will not tolerate this type of behaviour.
• Maintain and consistently enforce family rules. Utilize positive reinforcement when your child follows the rules and appropriate negative consequences for breaking the rules (such as the withholding of benefits or privileges).
• Stay involved and supportive of your child’s school and extra-curricular activities. Stay informed of what they are doing and whom they are spending time with.
• Encourage your child to channel their energy into more positive activities, such as sports, clubs, or music lessons.
• If the above steps do not result in noticeable, positive changes in your child’s behaviour, consult with a mental health professional.”

I hope you found this information useful and you keep the warning signs in mind. If your child is being bullied though, I know it will be difficult to keep a level head, but try and keep the other child in mind too, as they may be going through something themselves and don't know how to handle the situation or realise they're causing upset. If you are not able to resolve the issue with the child's parents then ask the school to get involved to try and remedy a problem.

Below I have included some resources for parents of bullies or bullies themselves that may be useful:

http://www.kidscape.org.uk/assets/downloads/kschildrenwhobully.pdf – PDF file which includes information on how you can stop bullying behaviour and can also help you understand it a little bit more.

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/no_bullying.html – Link to a website with more information on how you can help stop your child from bullying.

http://www.childline.org.uk / 0800 1111 - Children can also contact childline themselves for free if they would like to speak to someone else about their problems and they won't be judged.

http://www.supportline.org.uk – This is a support website for children and adults to use which has contact numbers for different organisations dealing with problems such as anger management through to other problems such as offenders & family support.

Thank You,

@Lizmundo